MSG - Nightmare
0213 AM, some day in May 09...
I reach for my cell phone to read the time. The light from the tiny screen hurts my poor eyes, so I have to close them for a moment. Now I envision you again with a cozy smile. Keep smiling, and life will smile at you… I try to get the time again. It is too early in the morning. Maybe I should get back to sleep, but I no longer feel sleepy now. I’ve told myself to sleep sound through the night, but still I keep waking up like this - lying awake, looking at the dark, and thinking of you.
It is so quiet – except for the noise from the fan. I don’t quite enjoy quietness and idleness. I select from the cell phone a random song. It turns out to be “Nightmare” by MSG, which you recommended to me quite long ago. While I find the electrical guitarist playing so beautiful, Robin sounds much too sad - like he’s crying.
“Nightmare lying here in the dark
Scared like my dreams made their mark
I wonder
Dreamer always alone
Lost in a part of myself I can't find anymore
I wonder if it's gonna end tonight “
So Robin is crying because he is scared of nightmares. Poor him when he has to wake up with terrible dreams like that. What is worse than nightmares and loneliness? I’m far more lucky to always wake up with you in mind. And I am even more fortunate to see you always smiling. And, what’s more, I don’t have to sleep, or to dream, to see you - because you are already some where inside me…
"I can't sleep alone anymore
I need you here with me
Even though I closed all the doors
There's somethin' holdin' me"
Again he is crying – now for sleeping alone. What is so bad about sleeping alone, Robin, when one can just go to bed and out of bed at any time of wish? And just like me, one will have a lot of time to think about anyone freely… However, still I must confess that, just like Robin, I need you to be physically with me so much. In fact, I wish to be with you at any time in my life, but for the moment, I’ll be more than happy just to watch you in your sleep.
"Never Ending Nightmare
Always there instead of you
Never Ending Nightmare
No escape this time from you"
I am starting to understand Robin’s pain. He is having nightmares for not having his love with him. And just because of not being with his love, thinking of it even give him more nightmares. What is worse is that he cannot run away from thinking. Maybe he loves someone so much that she has become a part of him. You are also a part of my life now – does that mean I also love you madly? Who cares…
I put the phone away and look around. Everything seems ok. In fact, it is a bit too dark, but I’m not scared of the dark - actually I’m just as fine in the dark. I get up and check the lock on the door, my Dell in the backpack, and my Shogun. They are all fine. They are all close friends – a work mate and a travel mate. They go to work with me, have coffee with me, and sleep with me – more than friends really. It maybe funny but I think I’m much like a cowboy with a royal horse and a reliable revolver, and I’m so proud of them. But I'm quite busy these days, and consequently I almost forget my friends. Okie, buddies, don’t be jealous: I’ll put that lady aside and I’ll get you a clean up and a shower tomorrow. I’m ignoring no friends. But, buddies, please also do understand that, I also could never ignore her… You know what, friends, just some more hours, morning will come, and I just can’t wait to meet and talk to her again …
Inspired by this song:
Lyrics:
Nightmare lying here in the dark
Scared like my dreams made their mark
I wonder
Dreamer always alone
Lost in a part of myself I can't find anymore
I wonder if it's gonna end tonight
I can't sleep alone anymore
I need you here with me
Even though I closed all the doors
There's somethin' holdin' me
Never Ending Nightmare
Always there instead of you
Never Ending Nightmare
No escape this time from you
Lately been around someone new
Needed to fill in the space
That once sheltered you
Still I worry, if you're gonna be alright
I can't sleep alone anymore
Need someone here with me
All I ever wanted and more
My dreams are fighting for
Never Ending Nightmare
Always there instead of you
Never Ending Nightmare
Punishing me for the things I do
Never ending Nightmare
No escape this time from you
